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my patronus is a basilisk jeliza
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The neverending melody

It seems to me that when you are inflicted with a particularly awful earworm, you SHOULD be able to figure out what god you offended to be so cursed by the song choice.

I cannot sleep, due to the constant refrain of "do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do" in my head.

... no clue who I should be burning offerings to for that one.

I see what you're doing there. Trying to pass along the curse by reciting the refrain.

But it won't work on me, because I heard "Downtown" this morning at the gym.

It's an ear-Ring!

(I'm almost sorry for that. Maybe a little bit.)