I have to wear a dress to the wedding this afternoon. Not because anyone is requiring me to, but because of wardrobe malfunctions. The eddies of discomfort and calculation that immediately arise from this are tiring as hell. It's a wedding, there will be pictures, I have to look nice. I have to give more fucks than usual becuase showing up looking like you don't give a fuck is rude at a wedding. How dark a lipstick can I wear before passing the point where I will be too femme and freak out? Should I shave my legs, which I haven't done in years, but in this context suddenlly the dark hair against my fish-belly-white legs is all I can see. I'm already a little on the freaky side with the teal hair for this wedding maybe? IDK the bride at all well, though the groom is my cool drum-playing nephew. I don't want to not look like myself, but I don't really want strangers looking at me either.