Hey Epiphora, who has been a sex toy blogger/educator for EVAR, is doing this epic giveaway for her 6 year blogiversary. Like, well over a thousand dollars worth of quality toys giveaway (more than one winner, not that one person is suddenly gonna get half a toyshop.) And you don't have to write an essay or even do anything publicly visible to enter.
You can read about and enter the giveaway here: http://bit.ly/1wsX5R0 (and yes, I get bonus entries if you use that link. I'm not proud.)
And while you are there, read some of the glorious/righteous snark in the revolutionary!111! and Am I being punked? tags.