Now, if you google "find title for car" you will get tons of tutorials/forum posts/etc. All of which say "it's on your registration, close to the VIN."
Well, no, it isn't. Not in Washington State, anyway. So what I need right now is for the car to stay alive the possibly 3 months it is going to take to sort this out and get a replacement title. Ugh.
And it's a Saturn, so the people you would normally contact if the registration trick doesn't work anymore? No longer in existence. Awesome.